So on Monday, I want to write my own words. I want to make posts that are about me stating my own opinion about different aspects of the world. I am noticing though that I am struggling with this. I had ideas of what I wanted to post about, but it is like a part of my brain says that I am not allowed to have those opinions. Trauma can do that to individuals. Trauma can make you second guess yourself and who you feel you are. It can make your opinions feel like you are not allowed to share them. This sometimes is because you are trying to make someone else feel okay or you feel that you may be unsafe if you share your actual own opinion. It is a struggle to share those truths to the world at times.
We all deserve to have our own voice though. We all deserve to be able to share our opinions without fear. Opinions are not stating the way you feel is the only truth in the world, but you are allowed to state that you believe a certain way or believe a certain thing. There is nothing bad about that in most cases. We are allowed to listen openly as well to others. We should be able to take what others are saying and form our own opinions. We should challenge who we are by sharing our truths and that means sharing your opinions with the world, but being willing to change as you obtain new information. I feel like the world has lost this art in many ways. We have lost that ability to obtain new information and to be able to share what our opinions are without tearing someone else down. I feel like this is where my fear comes from. I am worried that I will share an opinion and be attacked. That is saying something because this is not some big blog that I get hundreds of thousand of views on, but I sit here afraid to share a simple opinion because there is a fear that someone will attack me with their own venom. Someone will take something that I say and spew hatred towards myself or someone else. This is the world we live in right now and it is horrible to me. I want our world to change and to us to care about each other again. These sentences go into so many aspects of how I feel about the current world. It feels like a mess.
The world is a mess right now and honestly, sharing my opinion feels scary and weird. As I mentioned already trauma is playing a hand in this. I believe someone will come out of my past and try to hurt me, but I need to continue to find that voice. I have been working for YEARS to find that voice. It truly is time to allow it to exist without fear. What am I still afraid of? No one will come after you, Cass. You are safe. The heart doesn’t always remember this though.
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